By Amanda Kavanagh
In an ideal world, if someone didn’t like you at work, they’d raise any professional issues they had with you in a direct and procedure-following manner. Sadly, this isn’t always the case.
ADVERTISEMENTIn the world of work, you’ll likely collide with individuals over the course of your career, and some of these times can be very isolating for both parties.
Whether your communication styles clash, one person makes decisions the other disagrees with, or someone isn’t pulling their weight on a team, there are myriad reasons for frustrations to fester.
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And then there are the smaller things. Think of cluttering the work Slack with time-wasting memes, how a colleague crunches apples at their desk all day, or the cardinal sin, leaving tea bags or coffee grinds in the sink.
Minor annoyances seem petty but can build over time causing long-term and irreparable relationship damage.
ADVERTISEMENTIt goes both ways of course. If you’re sensing the vibe is off, listen to your gut, as recognising and addressing workplace antipathy can be crucial for both career progression and personal well-being.
See the signs
Many people mask their true feelings in a professional setting, so it’s not always easy to tell if you're disliked. This can be especially true for neurodivergent people, who may either miss or be extra sensitive to particular cues.
Nevertheless, consider whether you are being excluded from social activities and informal gatherings. If you find yourself consistently left out of lunch invitations, after-work drinks, and even coffee breaks, it could indicate that your colleagues are deliberately avoiding you.
Communication patterns can also be revealing. Pay attention to how your coworkers interact with you compared to others.
Do they keep conversations with you brief and purely work-related, while engaging in friendly chatter with others? Do they use a different tone with you?
Are your ideas frequently dismissed or interrupted in meetings? Do your coworkers maintain physical distance or display closed-off body language? These could all be signs of dislike or disrespect.
Another way to know is to ask a trusted and intuitive colleague. You may have told yourself an inaccurate picture from a series of unrelated events, or perhaps your hunch is correct.
Your colleague may also be able to help you identify easy wins to turn opinions around – perhaps if leaving your tea bags in the sink, for example, and an apology and change of behaviour will help.
Reality bites
It's a difficult pill to swallow, but an essential realisation in life and work is that you simply cannot make everyone like you. It is impossible. This understanding is crucial for maintaining perspective and emotional balance in the workplace.
The Internet is awash with quotes and advice on this. Ultimately in a workplace setting, instead of striving for universal likability, you can focus on maintaining professional relationships based on mutual respect and effective collaboration.
ADVERTISEMENTThis approach allows you to channel your energy into productive work and meaningful connections, rather than futile attempts to please everyone.
If you are considering addressing a relationship issue think of the importance of the relationship first. Is it a key stakeholder, a direct supervisor, or a colleague you frequently collaborate with? If so, it’s worth improving things – whereas other relationships you might let slide.
Timing is equally crucial. Avoid confrontations during high-stress periods or immediately after conflicts. A measured approach during quieter times usually yields better results.
Aside from direct confrontation, there are other ways to improve workplace relationships. Ensure you’re pitching in on team projects, be considerate of deadlines and office etiquette, and focus on producing high-quality work that adds value to your team.
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During this period, you might dread team-building activities and be tempted to skip them but don’t. These events can provide opportunities to interact in a more relaxed setting, potentially breaking down barriers and misconceptions.
If issues persist and your well-being is affected, do seek professional help. Discuss the situation with your manager if that feels comfortable, and check if your organisation offers EAP (Employee Assistance Programmes) counselling services and research career coaches.
However, in some cases and despite your best efforts, a workplace environment may remain hostile or detrimental to your career growth. In such situations, it might be time to consider finding a new position. If that’s the case, visit the Euronews Job Board today and see what’s out there today.
